How to Deal With Individuals who Target you in their Drama

Isobel le Bretoun, A.S. XLI

For me, it has been important to consider that drama is an important
thing for some people. Making trouble can be all about attention,
about gaining support from others or about exercising power.  This
type of person *needs* an issue, preferably with a  target/enemy.
It's often not really personal (in the sense that if you weren't
convenient they'd quickly find someone else to be horrible to).

In my experience, when dealing with such dramatic people when they put
you in their spotlight, the best strategy is to quietly leave the
stage and watch calmly from the wings.

If you can effectively disengage, they often lose interest.  Avoid
biting when they bait you and simply refuse to take their very
personal attacks personally.  It may be that the particular individual
has their own need for psycho-drama, in which case you probably can't
prevent them trying it on, but you don't have to be part of it.

Also, provide leadership and help other people around you disengage
too.  In a calm way simply point out that the conflict isn't
productive (always speak respectfully of the dramatic person) and help
those around you re-focus their energies on something positive
instead.

Grossly inappropriate behaviour from anyone should be answered with
calm and consistent insistence on courtesy and respect.  If an appeal
to the values of our society doesn't work, make use of the appropriate
grievance proceedures.